People-pleasers, this one's for you.
Are you someone who goes to extremes to make other people happy, even at your own expense?
Are you sometimes described as a “doormat”?
Do you fear being labeled as "difficult" or "selfish"?
Do you have trouble saying "No"?
Do you dread of disappointing others, being rejected, inciting conflict?
Do you wrestle with shame, guilt, and resentments?
Do you have trouble voicing your opinions?
Do you often find yourself saying, “I don’t know” because you don’t want to disagree or because you’re out of touch with what you want, need, or believe?
Do you neglect or put your needs and wants last?
Do you frequently find yourself describing your life as busy and yourself as tired?
Do you stay up too late, skip meals, eat poorly, forgo exercise and time for yourself?
Do you feel good about being the dependable, the go-to person who can make it better?
Do you judge yourself harshly, setting over-the-top standards for yourself?
Do you feel resentful?
People-pleasers do things out of obligation rather than true desire. Eventually, anger and resentment build up. When this happens they may lash out with anger or passive-aggression. Mounting resentments and unmet needs lead people-pleasers to feel like martyrs and sound like helpless complainers.
Does the above sound all too familiar (and more than a little gross)? Work on setting and respecting boundaries, engaging in self-care and finding an accountability partner to tell you the hard truth when you need to hear it.