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A Letter to an Abusive Parent

Here is an example of a letter to a mother from her adult child. Notice how it focuses on her emotions and perspective rather than simply an indictment of the parent. Notice how she lets go of the outcome. Notice how she regains control and closes a chapter necessary for her recovery


"Dear Mom I always just wanted you to love me and keep me safe. I can't ever recall feeling either. You chose to be with a man who was abusive towards me versus protecting me. This stole my innocence and my childhood - things I can never regain. Do I love you, yes, but what is love as I don't think you taught me that?! I know you had a hard life but you made choices which have impacted my entire life, choices which hurt me to my very core and existence, even today. I have tried really hard to undo the damage but some things when broken can never be fixed. While I don't think you ever purposely meant to hurt me I know you resented me from your hatred toward my father. You treated me differently that children you shared with my stepfather. I have seen first hand what you are capable of from your mothering of my half siblings so it had to have been me you disliked. There have been many years I have tried and held on to the hope that things would change and you would just love me, but I now realize that will never be. I left you without hatred or anger; with just the need to find peace in my life. I hope you find it in yours."


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